Validate Your Life

Polemics, Plausible Progress, and Protuberant Projects

Know and Deeply Understand What You Want »« Wave Dynamics — Surfer’s Almanac: Swell and Wave Formation

The Danger of "Why"

When we ask “why?” to a friend, we must carefully choose our intention so that it is only derived from a genuine source of energizing grace. “Why?” frequently can insinuate covert aggression, harbor anger destructively, and it can imply dubious lack of faith in a person. Why BLANK? Why not? Why ask why? You ask why because you need justification. You do not believe. If you didn’t understand, you would ask “How?”. How explains. Why adjudicates. Why is a question of judgment and as Kierkegaard pointed out, “when you label me, you negate me”. Therefore, the judgemental inquisition of “Why”, negates. Use “Why” with care my friend.

A better solution is to say openly, I don’t believe in your idea, but if you could elaborate on your intention behind it, I might understand the perspective of your wisdom with great lucidity. Expanding judgments to the point where they become affirmations of acceptance, when done with sincerity and honesty, forms incredibly resilient bonds of trust and clarifying connection.

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2007/11/02 at 1:47 AM
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