Validate Your Life

No, This angry asian is not me. But his demeanor portrayed what I was feeling about self-help books.

I think I’m interested in being mindful about reading, what I’d want to read, reading science reference books, and questioning the nature of reading before starting another book for a very long time.  Reading books is massively painful for me.  People say “you have to keep learning”.  I agree, but also greatly disagree.  You must keep learning and APPLY that learing.  I just spent over a hundred hours of my life reading 3 different NLP books and they all basically communicated the same information.  Most people in the world aren’t intelligent enough to realize this.  When you have read one book by an author, you most likely have read every book.  All authors will simply recycle back their ideas.  Reading too many books is toxic simply because it’s shoving in your brain the same data over and over and presupposing that you haven’t learned it yet, when you really have!!! So I’m an enormous fan of ceasing reading books and instead applying what you know.  Rereading stuff youv’e already learned is dangerous because it moves you further away from applying it.  It’s time to embrace the “quick-reference” charts, abandon most all books (Except reference books), and work with what we have.  I know I grasp 100% of NLP, so WHAT if there’s one other smidgen 1% of NLP that I am not aware of?!! Moving forward is applying applying.  IF I have to read another self-help book I will vomit.  I loathe self-help books because they use phrases like this:

Do not give self-development affirmations an exact deadline, for example, In

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http://www.yahoo.com/s/1081179

Carradine’s death and Heath’s death in early 2008 (both suicides) shows that actors are unhappy. They need and are lost and confused. I’m 100% convinced that the reaons for following film and studying acting for a bit was to eventually Coach actors in areas of fulfilment and health and performance and meaning. It’s simple. Actor’s have a lot of money and little happiness. I have a lot of happiness and little money. I can teach the happiness; they can give me the money. Both parties happy. !!

This makes you realize that Hollywood is truly just a massive Cult of Marketing and ploys nad disillusionment tied in with the media to create the illusion of the “glory of fame and stardom” etc. Well Hollywood went down the tubes. Seriously. I’ve been living 20 miles west of “Hollywood” the past year and the place is like a vacant ghost town when I visit it (seriously). Additionally, the silver screen pictures and that whole era from a sales/business point of view is completely wasted and gone. Youtube, private casts, internet “films” are now reality. So the Cultu of Hollywood is slowly dying.

Boy has my thought evolved rapidly the past years!! Only three years ago I was fascinated with and enthralled by actors. Now, after discovering some truly clear thinking rocking bodacious people (DB, Dawkins, etc). I’ve realized, sure, some actors may be genuinely cool, great people, but their profession is the biggest kind of cult disillusionment mass hypnosis possible. Tahts’ why so many off themselves because their profession is so warped and disillusioned and they’re a servant for “product placement” in the films! They likely have very little sense of self after playing characters and roles for many years of their life.

Coaching is the opposite of that. I spend YEARS of my life writing books on discovering exactly what I want to know and who I want to be and I discover that! I was interested in spirituality and when I was, it was exciting but various things (prosetylizatio in Costa Rica on multiple occasion, reading up on cults and witnessing identical similarities between cults and major religions etc) emerged and I evolved out of that. Now science and atheism are rivetting. TRULY rivetting. But the truth of the matter is. They’ve ALWAYS been rivetting! I’ve ALWAYS been this nerdy, scientific atheist. I watch home videos of me as a kid and I see that and know that. “Devout Atheism” (:D) is what’s true for me. Kiekegaard says “I must find a truth that’s true for me”. Well, soren, I did just that and it’s refreshing and incredibly MASSIVELY empowering!! Wow. So empowering to honor my genuine LOVE for science! Three kinds of symbiotic relationships, Stomata on plants, cellular respiration I love that high-tech jargon and better yet the fact that it’s linked to real things in nature. But physics is like some of the most absolute truths of all tied in with the precision of math. I’m very interested in physics especially. Sweet!!

Dear Governor Schwarzenneger,

(From John Thomas “Kooz” Kuczmarski)

I’m a strong believer that the purpose of a city should serve Nature. Nature — wildlife, animals, we homo sapiens ARE Nature — should be the intention of anything municipal, or city-based. Therefore the idea of actually closing beaches, closing a way for humans to enjoy nature (the ocean and beaches) would be undermining the very purpose of a city.

Do you really think people will stand for not being able to access beaches? Have you any idea how ludicrous that sounds?

I think anyone who believes eliminating parks-nature-Beach funding for the purpose of redirecting those funds to something non-Nature-based needs to re-evaluate their mission, don’t you?

If the significance of Nature (the oxygen we breath from the botanical plants of parks) and the body of water that keeps us alive (planet earth ecologically could not survive if it were not for it being covered with over 70% water) is eclipsed, all is lost for EARTH and humans. This sounds extreme and that’s because it is. If anything, funding needs to be redirected to opening MORE beaches and parks to remind us homo sapiens that we are just highly-evolved primates, elements of nature and truly do deserve to connect with Nature readily and frequently.

I think one problem with American government is that it HAS too much funding!! IT has so much funding that it redirects it’s energies, finances, and time away from the absolute necessities (nature, oxygen, planetary perpetuation and survival).

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John Kuczmarski

Beginning Fiction Writing

Beginnings 250 (Perspective w/light)

June 7, 2005

Rekindle the Rapport

The reflection of the office lamp on the window made it nearly impossible for Rebecca to see out into the ghostly summer night.  Not that she was concerned with the arid desert evening; she was fervently pecking away at the conclusion to her “Metaphors of Sexuality in American Society” thesis.  Because there was no way for her to see out as he looked in, the one-way window transparency did, however, benefit her colleague, the spying Samuel Gervin, whom she knew before she moved to the vacant desert of Montana.  His hesitation before entering wasn’t voyeuristic.  Instead, Samuel — nervous about rekindling any relationship, be it business-related or long-time friendship — had paused in awe of the strokes of undulating reminiscence that bombarded his conscience when he saw her assiduously typing away.

Samuel and Rebecca had been friends for almost all of the two-year experience at the small Stone Child College near Box Elder, Montana.  Samuel had always considered their relationship as something more than companionship, but was complacent with their rapport, which was generated by doing field research for their ecological final, studying for finals, and attending most classes together.  The waves of college memories — from getting lost in the Appalachians during their research project, to surviving the car crash on I-191 near Harlowton, to Rebecca’s graceful smile of gratitude whenever he reminded her to take her insulin – almost made him dizzy with glee to see her.  Taking a deep breath, he balanced one crutch against his hefty body, opened the screen door, inched his broken leg inside the doorframe, and was about to rap upon the window-pane of the door, but paused.  An uncertain, icy panic besieged him; “maybe I shouldn’t visit her,” he thought at the last minute.  “Maybe she doesn’t even want to see me in the middle of her work”.  Too late — the squeak of the screen door had alerted Rebecca, who twisted in her chair, squinting out into the dim night to determine the source of the disturbance.  In an embarrassed fluster, Samuel simultaneously realized his impending obligation to, now, knock and enter and his desire to bolt away from the porch and abandon the visit entirely.  He awkwardly wheeled around his body, wrenching his leg forward, and rapped twice on the door, only to snag his crutch on the screen door, tripped, and fell into a pathetic heap on the porch just as Rebecca opened the door.

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INTERESTING day!! Was outside doing stuff nonstop for 10.5 hours basically. Woke up noon. immediately did 6 circuts, showerd, tie, jacket, etc. Then drove to Michael Zanuck Agency. cool as!! Met katherine she said a lot:
I shouldn’t squint during interviews
my glasses looked good
I looked thinner around the cheekbones than my 2006 picture
that my 2006 headshot didn’t look professiona (I said because of my shading/coloring lol)
that I should email them for representation (and I did) in commercials if offered and I did LOL

Realized all the movie posters up was like MY room (austin powers, music stuff, world mape etc. cool as!! Funny wild! lol!!).

Michael zanuck also looked REALLY cool. He looked a LOT like Alan Arkin haha!! Hawaiian shirt, the office was the size of my dad’s office which was interesting, so…pretty interesting stuff. cool!

Then I drove to 1514 gower off hollywood freeway. Where I got the 2006 headhots was near the “Roscoes Chicken n’ Waffle House” haha!! Seriously the most peculiar combo of food, but hey I think it’s some kind of one of those weird landmark diner places haha! Anyways, I knew the headshot place was near the waffle-chicken house. I found the restaurant, checked it out and then walked up gower (and it was cool seeing the hollywood sign from there again. Last time I saw it, it was from the Graumann’s mall when I was locked out of the car after (never again) doing valet before meeting up with the acting friends at saddle ranch and walking around for 24 hours until could get car back haha) ) and saw that where the hollywood headshots place was, it was replaced and the building was up for lease LOL!! So that kind of disorientated me, so I walked around the blocks a few times, Called aunt sally, told her about life update — lifecoaching, acting on the backburner, etc. she was doing a kind of class tutoring thing — and I said I’d likely go out of the country if I didn’t have some work set up in 6 months, which is good! I haven’t had work in like 4-5 years!!! And I’ve been trying like crazy! Soo….yeah then I called matt and we talked about him coming out to cali and he said (this was astonishing) that he’d NEVER been out here! crazy!! The guy WORKS for an airline too! haha! We discussed seeing a dodgers game, going to new york, seeing the hollywood sign…everything I had just done basically haha. Anyways, strongly considering driving somewhere, but where (new york?). Then I drove a bit and called headshot places and felt a bit disorientated after not finding that one after it had gone. I think I found the hiking park area where you can climb to the top of the hollywood sign and by that time I was on the phone wiht Ron Finley who said he’d directed a lot of tv. I just looked him up and imdb shows him as “writer” for tales of the crypt (which he mentione,d and also mentioned sesame street haha!) so I don’t know if hte imdb credit is innacurate or if he really did/didn’t direct those shows, but whatever the guy sounded awesome, highly intelligent and was an awesome convo! He talked about using blue screens as backdrops for photography now!! I hadn’t realize they’re so high-tech for photos, for film I was aware of the massive technology, but that’s wild! He mentioend how he went to italy and wrote some books and was doing massive high-tech photography with different backdrops (like an actor backdrop of a rugged new york street) or some kind of white screen for lifecoaching and the various images I wanted to portray. Definitely professional ones lifecoaching and acting ( and maybe a comedy one). But he asked if i was doing one for eharmony LOL! Apparently people get professional photo touchups for eharmony haha!! Hysterical! Anyways we talked about the “steve jobs” turtleneck book which was DEFINITELY not me and I joked how he was kind of the preacherrole more than the computer guy and he said he was the wheeler dealer and I agreed saying wozniak was the computer guy and jobs the business hound. Anyways it was a COOL convo. So like older retired, NON-JERK (I meet a LOT of jerk director-people in the film/media business that had the mentality of “get out of my face, dont’ have time for you” or something. and I laugh now, that’s such a ridiculous attitidue!) So basically yeah, it was pretty refershing and awesome to talk with a cool director dude and hear all about these backdrops for photos and cool to talk to someone in a relaxed mode who had experience in the media/film world.

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Hello! I just feel angry, financially exploited, and a little upset because I spent $19 sending a 40z ipod through the UPS store and checked the same price and it would have been $4.00 with just general post office. It sold for $21.00 and I recieved $29.99 from the buyer for the entire exchange (including s&h). So despite my reaction to the shipping part, I definitely felt stoked to earn ANY kind of profit ($10 profit is great. > than nothing!) So I AM surprisingly rewarded about that, but have learned some lessons from this happenstance. So, I’m going to present the 5 lessons learned and would appreciate if someone could educate me on how to send things (packages etc) via post office. UPS/fedex etc are all SCAMS omg!! Huge ripoff!!

I have sold a few other things in ebay before, but this time proved to be a valuable learning experience.

1. Always Do it yourself. It’s always less expensive and in many ways more rewarding. If If would’ve printed off the tracking labels myself it would’ve cost much less.
2. Make sure the profit that you make is worth/commensurate/proportional to the value of amount of time put into earning that profit. I spend 5-6 hours and a good bit of energy selling the ipod item on ebay, communicating with the buyer, posting photos, creating a sell item, sending it, preparing the item for sale. Make sure the profit you will earn is with the effort and time put into making that profit! From a purely economic point of view. The value of the time put into (effort, time, energy, other things you could be doing with your time + the value of the item or service sold) should = (profit!).
3. I will be never using the UPS store again; Post Office shipping is MUCH less expensive!
4. The U.S. is too brash for me, I prefer the European sophisticated experience and ambiance (I’ve even heard americans remark are French are “nicer” and I asked if that met more kind and they said yes).
5. The different between the post office and UPS is that the post office is MUCH less expensive (I didn’t know that)!

Here’s my view on suits. It’s different. the whole double-breasted thing seems cheesy. Really REALLY expensive suits seem extremely cheesy. I don’t mind wearing them. If people would look at me and see me as professional-looking in athletic clothes as suits, I wouldn’t wear suits! I really like my cheapo $120 suit. However, these really expensive ones, look fantastic on me, and people may look at me more professionally. So I totally don’t care they’re that expensive and almost makes me a bit nervous taht they’re that expensive (I can still “have fun” in them and forget how expensive they are!! cool!!) I love the light ones — beige (by the way, was that other one you mentioned a lighter beige one?). But i’m grateful I have them to experiment with to see if I need them or not; if I ever get a job where wearing a suit could increase the quality of the job, then YES YES YES these are great!! But if I don’t have such a job, they sorta seem silly hehe. see what I’m saying? I’m not impressed by suits. But if other people are and if it will boost a potential career somehow..then so be it, great I won’t mind wearing them if it boosts career!!. So thanks again!!

In “Maslow on Management”, Maslow talks about the necessity and importance of self-actualization, but realizes that frequently, “flakes and gurus” as he calls them, learn of a new trend and bank on that to earn capital. True, true, but we must also respect the passion of such “flakes and gurus”. After all, while they may try to swindle money, they do connect with honest, healthy visions that people have to have a pre-existing, intrinsic interest towards in the first place. So they can exploit, but they exploit, in a way, something good and worthwhile and if it weren’t for the money charge, it wouldn’t be exploitation, but identification with intrinsic values!

Take vocabulary for example, Maslow wrote, “if one increased his vocabulary, he would also dramatically increase his learning by 10 to 100 percent” (Maslow 119). That’s ginormous! He also pointed out that the increased vocabulary leads to an increased awareness of the world, and, in contrast, a lower vocabulary, sincerely increases paranoid behavior. Lowered vocabularies lower your awareness making you effectively somewhat “blind”! Now those socalled “New Age flakes and gurus” could surely bank a buck on this and have overly-expensive “vocabulary learning classes” . One could argue that such an exploitation inhibits a person’s growth and steals their money, but the end result is the positive heightened awareness. Conclusively, it feels like the New Age exploiters utilize a manipulative process, but with a correspondingly energizing end result.

In the conclusive denouement of the correspondence between Andrew Kay, Maslow, and the editor of the book, the reached a correlation on the nature of “gypping” ideas. Maslow described that he would, for period, feel enraged at people stealing his ideas for papers or other various constructs, but now just finds it humorous and funny. He writes, “copying or stealing is a little like stealing the egg, instead of the hen that lays the eggs. In a word, money must be used; the mind must be used; creativeness must be used and one must spend it and be prodigal with it rather than to hoard it and be stingy with it and think that it can be used up or spent in decreased in quantity…The very process of talking about ideas helps the creativeness, and thereby makes it more likely taht there will be hundreds of ideas where there were only dozens before” (Maslow 120). In other words, unless you tackle it on your own, with your own process, your own voice, and apply your own creativeness, the outcome will have limitations. However, if you do apply your own creativity, the result becomes infinite.

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Wrote Taboo and Avolon in 5,200 words on 12/30

Taboo
I watched the bartender serve this green drink in a glass tumbler and asked the nearby bar-waitress what that was.

“A tokya iced tea.” She mentioned a barrage of ingredients in it. I went outside in the back area and met an accountant named Amonn and his cousin, Doll. They were warm, cheerful, african american, people in probably late 20s early 30s. Later that night I learned Doll was probably 34. She was showing a lot of cleevage but you could tell she had a mind on her. She was good, almost maternal and looked out to make sure people didn’t drink too much and had real ambitions. Needless to say, while I could have focused on her breasts the whole time, I didn’t because her mind was unusally more interesting. Amonn and I seemed to hit it off with a good friendship. “This is a nice place, it’s sophisticated” he said.

“Yeah! totally. Definitely sophisticated.”

The song “Tipsy” came on and a short kind of round-faced hispanic kid came out and started rapping to use three. It was pretty awful and embarassing but Amonn and I laughed in a kind of cheering him on kind of way.

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• Exercise
  
• Math
  
• Finances — quicken, numbers
  
• Reading my books
  

Why? Exercise creates body-mind mastery. Math is just fun and uplifts the quality of your thinking organizing all “muck”. Finances is freedom and stuff you eNJOY focusing on because it gives you awareness of your expenses and reading my books is more mind-body master because that connects your own truisms and principles with your understanding.

And swimming is the best for exercise because you can “hammer” out in swimming and not injure your body.

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In regards to acting.  Thanks to anyone for that encouragement.  I sincerely appreciate anyone’s feedback and fortification toward acting.  I agree, when I was pursuing it during taking acting classes, I did feel extremely fulfilled.  The biggest obstacle toward that pursuit, however has been money.  MONEY, money, money.  That’s the only thing.  I’ve diverted my attention toward web design and trying to make money via computers because I see that as the most direct way to accrue money.  I can’t foresee a way to make money via acting until LONG after many auditions and shows (of zero to low pay).  It just seems like forever until I’ll be financially independent (earning over $30k per year on my own).  This desperation has left me in quite accurately a state of panic where any profession that earns, for the time being, feels viable. 

Acting has always functioned as the “dream” profession, but if a dream job can’t pay my bills, well, of what use is it other than fulfilling that dream?  Dream fulfillment is huge, but it’s a little higher up on the maslowian scale of self-actualization.  I have these great parents who kind of bypass the lower stages of maslowian hierarchy of needs like having shelter, and getting food.

I fear that not living IN hollywood (22 miles from it and NO WHERE to park once I commute there) greatly impedes my pursuit in acting (finding an agent, namely).  If I had a set parking place in hollywood things would operate MUCH more smoothly.  I can’t describe the hours you spend looking for a parking spot that only offers 2 hours of parking in Hollywood.  This sounds trivial but actually presents a major obstacle because I don’t have the freedom of being able to get to hollywood and explore.  I’ve looked into solutions such as taking a train there, which could work, but the train station is roughly 5 miles away and then I have to factor in commute costs.

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3:51 AM
June 29, 2008
I just recieved an RCA cable (a special tv part I needed) that sold for $6.47 on ebay (including shipping) and it was shipped from Hong Kong!

Why is that cool? Well, for one it’s a hella long way to ship something so cheaply. Reflecting upon ancient roman roads which spanned an awe-inspiring 53,819 miles in 450 bc with the laws of Twelve Tables regulating road length and message telegrams, this is amazing. I remember tracking my sweet iPhone as it was shipped from Hong Kong (where it’s manufactured) to Alaska and finally to California. Then I got another package from a neighbor on Van Nuys, roughly 20 miles away from me! The Hong Kong package traveled roughly 7,254 miles. The other package traveled about 20 miles. Both were less than $5 shipping fees. I mention this because 1)shipping is truly astonishing and 2)it has current relevance in literature.

The Hong Kong package even had a customs certificate!

Additionally, I’m in the midst of reading Jules Verne’s epic “Around the World in 80 Days, and around Chapter 20 Fogg, Auoda (the Indian babe Fogg heroically rescued) and Passepartout, the wiry little frenchman arrive in the very same city of Hong Kong after voyaging from Calcutta, India on the “Rangoon”, only to discover that they’ve missed the “Carnatic” ship and hire a small-time boater to make it to Yokohama in time. So this has some of that “world as a story” flavor to it. Reading about Hong Kong in a fictional classic and then coincidentally receiving a package from the same city (and the fact that cost less than $5 shipping) and the book is free just kind of sets the stage for a nice, little literary-relevance-making-the-world-smaller-but-more-magical ambiance to this serendipity. Just the fact the part was so cheap and the distance it traveled was so great has congruence with Phillias Fogg’s character, and Verne’s book is free on project Gutenberg, it’s just kind of some everyday magic that arises for very cheap, without massive expenses, or with zero expenses.

Call me “easy to please” but these little serendipitous gems of reading a classic novel that travels the world and then receiving a package that has nearly traveled the same route as the characters in that novel?!! Well, that’s just cool bizarro country 2000.

Recently read this great article and it sparked some interesting ideas. Superheros are only identifiably heroic when they can connect to other humans! Otherwise, they’re just alien. The most secure way of making that connection, honestly, is flaws. Batman’s troubles over his dead parents, Ironman’s drinking problems, Maxwell Smart’s stupidity and bumbling, all those flaws make their great deeds identifiably humanly heroic. Cool stuff. Otherwise they’re just mythological!

Yeah, that’s awesome. Superheroes who are perfect without flawed are just myth. The stories of Neptune and Jupiter from Ancient Rome helped Romans understand their mysterious world and answer some of the questions that could only be answered with scientific breakthroughs millenias to come. Same goes for the Zeus, Posieden, Athena stories from greece. Those mythologies embodied flawless, “inhuman heros”. A star contrast from the very human and flawed, but exceptionally heroic characters in many of todays films.

Maybe we have re-invented mythology into a global flawed mythological superhuman superhero. The kind that is a little bit closer to us than Zeus on Mount Olympia, or Neptune beneath the sea. Modern culture has crafted “gods” (superheros) that blends the myth into our reality because we recognize elements of each of us in the our 21st century heroes.

Now in 2009, I realize so many reasons for neither! lol.