Validate Your Life

See, there exist thousands of books and platitudes and ideas out there fore how to “Get what you want”, but you can barely find any material detailing how to “Exclude what you don’t want”. I’ve read hundreds of books that talk about having your personal esteem aligned means things you want get drawn to you, naturally. The Law of Attraction. Fine and dandy, but what do you do when things and people you do not want get drawn to you?! If you didn’t exclude what you don’t want but had what you want drawn to you, you’d be eating a dinner with the most gourmet, perfectly cooked, broiled, bright red lobster with dazzling butter on one side of the plate and on the other-side you’d have a couple of scoops of foul, maggot-ridden cow dung! Sounds ridiculous but you indirectly get that “interesting cuisine combination” of cow-dung and lobster when you attract what you want, but don’t exclude what you don’t want. You have reached a point of personal sincerity in your life where you deserve and have the capacity to get a life platter of lobster and fresh genuine vegetables (no more cow dung) on the side.

(Modified 2007 Post)

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Holmes’ Meta Strategy!
This is the transcription and reflection on Robert Dilts’ Strategies of Genius.

Perception of Clusters of Details —> Behavioral Observations + Environmental Observations —> Inferences —> Combinations of inferences —> Conclusions

Cultural Assumptions & Facts are matched up with the observations to draw inferences, then the inferences are “compiled” to generate conclusions.

Why is Holmes Strategy so useful to learn?
Well, for one, Sherlock Holmes (although fictional) is the greatest observational-deducer probably ever to exist in our imaginations or out of it. The fact that he’s fictional does not prevent his techniques from being genuine, applicable, and highly useful. The observational-deducing strategies used by Sherlock Holmes seriously fall in the category of something expansively NLP because it increases the options you have in life. You can (and will) draw these truthful, accurate conclusions seemingly from thin air. Yes, that is impressive and makes for a great trick, but also for your own awareness and heightened observational skills this is extremely potent. It’s so valuabl eto understand how we go from submodality observations and asking the who, what, how, where, when (and sometiems why) questions to arrive at the causes and behavioral conditions and capabilities behind what we see. Wolves are notably more intelligent than dogs because of their 30% increased intelligence and heightened “observational learning”. Observational learning means that they’ll figure out how the cage they’re in works, and can quickly escape than anything without observational learning. Similarly, learning and Applying Holmes meta-strategy for drawing deductive conclusions from heightened observations frees you and expands your life MUCH more than the person who does not use this strategy. Ultimately, by using and applying Holmes’ filtering and questing and tying up observations with cultural assumptions, imaginations, and facts to reach inferecnes and then conclusions from the summation and formulaic equations of those inferences, you truly will lead a more liberated, more full, more complete life than someone who does not use these strategies. So learn on!

The fusion of cultural assumption & Fact with the observation is key and often the overlooked step.

If you see someone lightly hesitantly putting his hand on a woman’s shoulder (observation), it’s likely it’s their first date (inference) because if they had gone on many dates, there likely would be no hesitation (cultural assumption)!

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just woke up, just water, wore black (Great), no food, no coffee before, energizing awesome convo. good. I saw a darren brown and david tennant clip (for darren’s tv show) and I relized that they went out into public to have a woman draw a picture and david was supposed to have predicted what she’d draw, but the interesting thing was how it almost seemed like david and darren were competing for the woman’s attention to impress her! LOL these two HUGE awesome dudes and names (darren brown and david tennant) with huge massively successful careers, were almost primarily focused on this woman’s attention. I mean i have a ton of respet for david, but my reverence for darren (he’s just so gnalry) is off the charts, so seeing both these two extraordinary guys doing very unextraordiariny stuff (trying to impress a woman and have
vulnerability in that — or maybe that is extraoridinary too!! ;D) was an eye-opener.

I mean Tennant is THE Dr. Who! How much more cool and successful and impressive is that from a sci-fi POV. And Darren….well that guy’s just unfathomably cool and he represents the apex of all the skills in which I have been and currently training. So DB just operates on this unimaginably awesoem level of success. But so here were these two amazingly successful people whom I have massive respect for, doing something very common and normal — kind of “flirting with a woman”!! These guys were just doing what any normal guy would do — flirting with this woman! I mean I guess I figured at some level of success I erroneously thought you wouldn’t have to worry about those htings (flirting, courtship, etc) but while I’m sure those guys don’t worry about them, they still DO them. Romance is alive for every person regardless of their level of success. In many ways I htink romance is kind of the common denominator that makes someone’s career or their image etc, operate from a baseline: yeah we are all human, we all have human emotions. Cool! But it was something to which I could relate. I could only look up to their careers — wow, db’s nlp skills insane! etc — but when I saw them flirting with this woman, I was like “Hey!! Hey! Hey, I’m on the same level with them in that regard at least!!”

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My Elevator Speech is called “Specifics of Application”. I’ve chiseled this down to being able to deliver it in 15 seconds. I love it and am interested and psyched about practicing it more. Everytime I’ve practiced it, I’ve gotten great “reviews”. Great Reviews from an elevator speech means:

1) If I tell the person it’s an elevator speech and I’m approaching it from the POV of evaluating my elevator speech as opposed to the content of it where I’d be selling my coaching, they say it’s impressive or “a good one” (Ronnie Noize). So that rocks!

2) Selling success, allure, or interest. This is applying the elevator speech and selling the content. This type of success creates a prospective client’s interest in my coaching!

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State Calibration

Body language can never lie; words and statements, however, can. Learning to calibrate increases your ability to know what a person is feeling. This becomes extremely potent when trying to eliminate confusion in communication and also to avoid getting deluded with words.

In Neuro-Linguistic Programming, State Calibration is just “indicators” of a person’s state. When the red light is on on the oven, it mean it’s heating up. When you’ve calibrated a person, you can know that a specific person a brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched means they’re perplexed. Therefore the “brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched” state is like the red light on the oven; both the red oven light and the furrowed brow, squint, and hunch serve as indicators for what’s going on “inside”.

How do you calibrate a state? When you see a person having a unique body posture, or movement, you ask them what they feel, and if they respond, you’ll know that that specific external body language, posture, breathing, and the like corresponds to their state! ANY time you see them with “brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched, ask them what they’re feeling. If they respond, you’ve just successfully calibrated their state! Now whenever you see that external body languae, you will understand that for that person it calibrates to “perplexed”.

A green light on the oven could mean, “cleaning mode”, just as someone who’s in a state where their breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling, and you ask them what they feel they’ll say “happy” you’ve calibrated that “breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling” to mean happy for THEM. So to that specific person, just as the green light means “cleaning mode”, “breathing steady, chest out, and smiling” means “feeling happy”. Now, “breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling” does not mean happy for every person; just that specific person. To continue the analogy to now an absurd level of metaphor (LOL!) everyone’s “oven” is built different with different indicator lights. The oven lights are just a metaphor for “external indicator” that calibrates to an “internal state”.

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Very Cool list of 4 Personality types on persuasion blog. This article covers the driver, which may be my personality most often. Although I can definitely relate to amiable, analytical and definitely expressive, too. I may be analytical; highly likely with a few expressive or driver traits. My brother James seems to be analytical. My brother thomas, possibly amiable.

However, these are similar to a system I already prefer. And that’s Virginia Satir’s Computer, Placater, Distractor, and Blamer types. However these deal specifically how you interact with others. The above 4 types are vauge, Satir’s are very easy to apply however!

An AMAZING site here with this Building Rapport article. I love the lists. I love the bullet-point format for organization and quick access to information. And Rapport is merely a small portion of the NLP’s bracket of communicational tools (along with pacing leading (with representational system predicates, tone, voice, body language), congruence). But for learning Rapport. This article is AMAZiNG. very helpful. nice.
I see why rapport could be a great tool. It makes the other person think you’re part of their tribe (when in reality you’re very different). I’ve VERY different from most people I meet and therefore if I want to connect with someone for the purposes of business generating rapport is a must for me. then I can just break state and resume being myself after the rapport exchange

Also “warning warning salesman salesman!” LMAO!!! I think people totally think that about me occasionally. good tip on matching pace of speech, tone, and source (nose, chest, throat).

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Body language can never lie; words and statements, however, can. Learning to calibrate increases your ability to know what a person is feeling. This becomes extremely potent when trying to eliminate confusion in communication and also to avoid getting deluded with words.

State Calibration is just “indicators” of a person’s state. When the red light is on on the oven, it mean it’s heating up. When you’ve calibrated a person, you can know that a specific person a brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched means they’re perplexed. Therefore the “brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched” state is like the red light on the oven; both the red oven light and the furrowed brow, squint, and hunch serve as indicators for what’s going on “inside”.

How do you calibrate a state? When you see a person having a unique body posture, or movement, you ask them what they feel, and if they respond, you’ll know that that specific external body language, posture, breathing, and the like corresponds to their state! ANY time you see them with “brow furrowed, right eye squinted and hunched, ask them what they’re feeling. If they respond, you’ve just successfully calibrated their state! Now whenever you see that external body languae, you will understand that for that person it calibrates to “perplexed”.

A green light on the oven could mean, “cleaning mode”, just as someone who’s in a state where their breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling, and you ask them what they feel they’ll say “happy” you’ve calibrated that “breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling” to mean happy for THEM. So to that specific person, just as the green light means “cleaning mode”, “breathing steady, chest out, and smiling” means “feeling happy”. Now, “breathing is steady, chest out, and smiling” does not mean happy for every person; just that specific person. To continue the analogy to now an absurd level of metaphor (LOL!) everyone’s “oven” is built different with different indicator lights. The oven lights are just a metaphor for “external indicator” that calibrates to an “internal state”.

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“A state is our way of being in any moment It comes from our physiology.
thinking and emotions, and is greater than the sum of its parts. We
experience states from the inside, but they have external markers that can
be measured from the outside, like a particular frequency of brain waves,
pulse rate, etc. But none of these can tell you what it is like to feel angry
or to be in love. “
Oconnor.
SOOOO TRue. so awesome!!! OMG so helpful.

My baseline state changed in 00 (after meeting the devil worshipper bitch maya). Before I had different energy level, different representational system. My newer state became more chaotic. I held different values; predominant emotion of anger or so! I am blue energy (knowing what’s up with people emotionally, highly emotionally, easily overwhelmed a bit) so definitely good to stay connected with personal history, journals, etc!

GREAT general rule. Experience pleasant memories in associated experience to get the most out of them, and unpleasant memories in dissociated state to avoid bad/unpleasant feelings and to avoid getting overwhelmed. COOL. This is like a protector or integrater. If you’re in life and feel overwhelmed,just pop into dissociated state! If you’re doing something and you realize “hey, this experience rocks!” pop into an associated state to soak it up and get all the good emotions to generate a more uplifted state!

Really deeply fascinating NLP work from scrutinizing the representational system predicates in Jack London’s White Fang. If you examine the dialogue on the early chapters (and then the predicates throughout the rest of the novel) almost ALL of them are gustatory!! They “digested ideas”; someone was “plumb tuckered out”, even the visual dispalys were gustorary with a “cinnamon” color; someone hadn’t had a “bite” in weeks “your stomach’s sour” (that easily could’ve been phrased, you sound disagreable, your look uncomfortable, but no it was deliberately made gustoary). Why? Because White Fang is this visceral survival wild rampaging animal Wolf book! Using gustatory predicates gets the reader in the mode of this survival and chewing and after all a lot of the passages are White Fang chewing prey after all. Cool as! Towards the last third of the book it shifts to a bit more kinesthetic representational outlay of predicates as characters “tackle” ideas, but I found this fascinating and extremely logical that the primary predicates were these visceral gustatory and later kinesthetic ones about a blood-thirsty wild wolf preying and it enunciates the feral nature of the wolf, which is necessary to show how much of a change it is for it to partially adapt and partially fit in with society. Cool!! Following this pattern, you’d expect an autobiography of Bruce Springstein or something to use primarily auditory predicates and maybe some sophisticated story of an artist, maybe like Girl with a Pearl Earring to use primarily visual predicates. It’s AMAZING how predicates can set the tone of the content and when the predicates match up with the tone (survival, chewing, chomping, preying with gustatory predicates in White Fang) it makes for an amazingly integrated work! I don’t know if Jack London deliberately chose gustatory predicates or if that diction had unintentional origins, but it clearly matches perfectly with the chomping wild survival Nature content of the book!! Fascinatingly cool!

A GREAT Exercise I want to practice in the real world:

“Predicate games.
Pick a casual conversation where the content is not important and listen for
predicates.When you hear a predicate, match it in the next phrase you speak
in reply (pacing).
When you are able to do this with confidence, match the predicate and
follow it with another phrase or sentence that uses a predicate from another
system (pacing and leading). Does your companion follow your lead by using
predicates from that system in reply?”

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